Sunday, March 26, 2017

Come out of the closet

I finished writing something that I *really* need to write. Been procrastinated on that for years and finally I able to submit it. Such.an.achievement.Pat.on.own.shoulders. Despite all, it was a scary phase for me during submission period. Part of me wants to finish it fast, another part of me was not ready to let it go. Ending something means you starting something new. But, me ending my long years of post graduate life when I still do not know what new to start. Tanam anggur? 

I am turning into new -ty years this upcoming September. My when-I-am-27-life resolution is none checked yet. Basically I dont have job, I dont have saving, I dont invest in anything, I have nothing. I have travelling tickets to somewhere je. Hahah Future seems so bleak (except for the coming trip, surely). 

Age should not be a limit. Age is just a number. Yes. But when the system putting age as the limit, you are running against time. I saw few job application which putting age as a limitation. Kalau kerja part time, I can understand that. Somehow, you dont know how to work with someone over your own age kan. Rasa awkward. Yeap, I can understand that. The scholarship also putting age as the limit. There are some which I already passed the requirements, which is totally a frustration. GAHHHHH

Oh well. Pardon me.

I did not plan to wail much on my current life progress. It may sounds bad. but trust me, I currently enjoying this laid back, stagnant, potato couching period. The main problem currently is to choose where to have our breakfast je. I dont need to think what to eat for lunch or dinner pun. HAHAH.

But, I have this feeling of blabbing something, at least rant up things, to keep me writing. LOL. Bila orang suruh menulis tanak. Dah siap menulis, gatal pulak tangan. KAHKAHKAH

To write a lot, means you need to read a lot. So words can flow easily between your thought. Honestly, I am never a good writer. My mind is kinda complicated, hence my word is always always intertwined. However, unexpectedly i got praised for my writing. They said my story line is quite smooth. I really WOWed with all those comments, since that was never in me. I guessed, lots of reading really help you. However, to read a scientific write up is a struggle. At least for me. At 3 a.m in the morning. Hence, I settled with something much much simpler. The dramabeans website. LOL. 

It is a drama review website. They talk mostly on Korean drama and movie. Sometimes about Korean entertainment industry, the gossips and what so ever. They have several writers, but I only enjoy reading write up by Javabean or Girlfriday and sometimes Gummimochi. That is why I often fall for highly-praised dramas by those three. I dont really read their review because of the drama review. Well, since I watched those, I dont need to know the synopsis anymore. I read because of the write up. They are a good writer. And the website is updated few times daily (There were blogs that I like. But they posted new entry like once in four months? That does not feed my daily blog hunger what). 

I think my suddenly acquired writing skills is because of reading all those dramabeans articles. HEH. And I really dont want it to puff away. That's why I decided to write things on this blog. (Is this a deja vu, OR I did say this before?) But I dont want to pour much things about my personal life, since this blog is public and I really dont know who are you my dear readers (if there is any). So i turning this blog as dramabeans alike LOL.

I am not reviewing any drama, I just gonna talk about drama I watched. What I like, What I love, What I blergh. Basically my feelings towards all those dramas I watch. 

Before that, I need to say that, my genre is kinda twisted. I dont really enjoy those high hype dramas *cough*Goblin*cough*. Some of my friend use my recommendation as drama that they need to stay away LOL exaggeration. But, definitely something light, something fluffy, something with dose of romantic essence. Since I am hopeless romantic by heart. 

Well, I never say that out loud. Tried hard enough to act cool and conceal everything. But it is a hard core that its showing. LOL. I watched k-dramas. How can I am not a hopeless romantic, people? KAHKAHKAH. And this non-surprising announcement is what I meant with the title. Please, do relate okeh.

So, for my first drama, I gonna talk about 'TWENTY AGAIN'

Yo! The Lee Sang Yoon Twenty Again.

I hooked with this drama because of Javabean review. Hooked with this drama first, then with Lee Sang Yoon second. LOL. I dont like Choi Ji Woo. (Even my first K-drama was Winter Sonata). Not that I hate her, it just I dont like her. Twenty Again has her as the leading actress. I dont know Lee Sang Yoon at first. Why this drama quite a hype? (It was a TVN drama, not some big channel drama) 

The story line is quite simple. There was 38 years old Ha No Ra. She got married at 18, had a son at 19, and getting divorced at 38. She was a devoted housewife. The husband was a lecturer, and having some affairs with his fellow colleague. But he divorcing her with the lame excuse that she just not in par with him. 

"I cant talk, cant discuss anything with you because you cant understand any word I said" kinda bullshit. 

So she was in verge of separation. Added to that, his son kinda shamed having her as the mother (ketuk kepala Min Woo). More sadly, she was diagnosed with terminally ill cancer. She was having all those bad bad thing in life, but she took very different path. 

She enrolled into university because she just want to be in same league with her husband and a mother that her son can be proud of. Unfortunately, it was the same university with her son, his husband (the husband just got transferred into new workplace) AND his husband new fling. PLUS his long lost friend.

The story was about women empowerment. I love Ha No Ra spirit. Life gave her lemon, she really made lemonade out of it. 

But what I fall for the story was ehemss obviously Cha Hyun Suk. The roll played by Lee Sang Yoon. He was Ha No Ra friend from High School. She was his first love. The Ha No Ra he fell for was someone with high spirit, ambitious, proud with pride. The Ha No Ra he met after twenty years was someone bleak. someone with low self esteem. someone totally different. He tried to help his friend to gain back her persona, to be back the Ha No Ra he knew. 

(Oh, later she found out the diagnosed was totally wrong) 

The main thing I love about this Cha Hyun Suk is, his thoughtfulness and his analytical mind and his sincerity. I always fall for deep thinking and people (guy especially) who live life freely. Brook Brothers guy is bawring. Hyun Suk did what he loves and pays the bills with it. He love what he was doing, hence he really indulge in it. The most part I love is how he pushed No Ra to be the great No Ra again. He was annoying indeed. But, sweetly annoying. 

The plot hold less love line. They were friends. What he did was purely for his forlorn friend. He even tried to save the wedlock. Till when No Ra finally decided to move forward, just then the love sparks. Well they ended together, obviously. 

This drama is definitely a definition of my feminism.

Woman can be strong on their own. But together with right person (guy) they totally can be everything. Feminism should not be about empowering on gender by lowering the other. Feminism for me is all about empowering yourself (as a woman), and help you right wing to shine when you both together. 

I dont know much about feminism. Never made any effort to go and read about it. But for me, the movement is far beyond 'why only women cooks, why only women took care of house chores ETC'. You dont need to be certain gender to respect others. Respecting others equal to be respected by others. Being a housewife like No Ra (in the beginning and toward the end) is not something low, or to be shame of. Housewife holds dignity. A guy should never think his housewife simply. I really love it when the husband (now ex-husband) realized how magnanimous his wife really was. The bad was him. The shameful was him. Not his wife. 

The other part that I love was the discussion about 'Do what you love' VS 'Do things that pay the bills'. There was two characters, The sunbae (Soon Nam) and Seung Hyun. No Ra's classmate. The sunbae was a good dance choreographer. But he decided to do majoring in management. Just because degree in management have more job offering. While in other hand, Seung Hyun decided to take her current field just because she loves it. It really struck me. The why you choose what you do life question. I did what I was offered. Not because I love it, or I good at it. Luckily my majoring creep under my skin, and I started to love what I do (but I cant pay my bills with it). This back to Hyun Suk. When you do something you love, you excel in it and you turn it into something that can generate money. In the end, the sunbae worked in art and performance, which enable him pay his life and doing something he was good. He sacrifice with small payment, but, yeap, he dont live solely for money at least. 

I felt like taking Master in Political Science, because I think the topics in it was interesting and suit my delight. UM offered the course as a coursework. I think most univ offers the course. UIA may offer the cheapest fee. I can took loan with PTPTN for fee. But, what can I do with the cert? Can I get better job with it? Is it worth to get a loan when you dont know how you gonna pay it. And this brought to another plot that I love.

The discussion between taking study loan VS the job you can obtain. Seung Hyun study freely. She studied what she loves at her own pace. She took break to work, and gained money for fee and allowances. No Ra decided to terminate her study in the end, because her study loan totally outweigh her life benefit. Yeap, knowledge is something money can buy. But she made that decision since she dont really indulge in her courses. She knew what she want to do (at the age of 38) and definitely knowledge is not something that only cert can prove. 

I was lucky enough because my study loan for degree was settled. I live with little money (less than others with PTPTN. Still, it was enough for my living. Able to have Kenny Rogers and Nandos once every semester. Not bad, huh?) But, because of that, I didnt struck with study loan (with interest some more). Back to the topic, If you decided to take a courses with least job employment, will you or will you not applying loan up till 50k (with 4% interest rate)? When the cert may get you a job with small payment. Will you, will you not?

It kinda sucks when knowledge you gain is money defined. kan? 

Well that is it. About my Twenty Again. 

This drama introduce me to Lee Sang Yoon. He graduated with degree after thirteen years in school. (SNU to be exact). His life somehow relate-able with this drama. He finished his study even after dragged for quite a while. Even he decided not to pursue career in the field. A certificate is something that can consider as life achievement. Still, when you spent time, money and effort finishing something for the sake of finishing it (hopefully because of the knowledge), it is really something. 

That is it I think. I wrote lot. Perhaps it will take some time before I write something again. Heh


I didnt re-read my write up. There may be grammatical error. Do point out if you found some. Help me to improve my language. 


In the meanwhile, lets listen to this drama OST, by Roy Kim. One of my favourite. 


And another one, by Jung Joong Il

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