of Reply 2003

It was 11 eleven years ago since I started my life journey outside Kelantan.

I am never a diligent student. I don't really study at home. It just that I have a nice working brain which store anything that I focused on. When my other siblings studied hard for big exam such like PMR, I don't really remember what I did, or how many practice books I had (My sister had stacks of that. Me? one or two book maybe). I even watched TV on exam night, but skipped my house chore duty (saying I wanna study, of course).

At those time, the only how I survived was by focusing in class. This tiny brain of mine did a good job in memorizing anything if only i put my focus in class. I still remember Form 3's Geography and History. I still remember how to predict world climate. Connection of Desert, Mediterranean climates. BUT, I really bad at memorizing. Memorizing for me is something that subconsciously done. If I understand it well, it will be stored. How can I remember one whole sentence perfectly with 'the, an, if, or, a' and so on. It just something that I totally cant.and wont.and lazily cant.

It is good to get teachers who tell 'story'. Point-based teacher REALLY give me hard time. Up till now. I detest teacher that teaching on exam based, such "you have to memorize this and that, even you don't understand what it is. Just put it in somewhere in your brain and make sure you know to find it where in the exam hall" type. I had hard time because my brain just don't work well that way. And I am not someone who push self limit.

Still I don't know how could i stuck in Bio-based field now.

Anyhow, exam based, or knowledge based, its actually up on the student how they going to treasure anything they got, anggerae? Teachers help giving student points. Its up to student to quest for more knowledge. They are there for any question. But still student need to raise hand and ask. Well, that is something that I belatedly realize.

Enough with that.

With that little effort, I somehow was confident enough to know that I scored my exam well.

9A PMR? ditto! (flips tudung)

How? I dont know.

But everything given was actually a test.

9A? so I got so many offers. Science based, economy based, or art based? Hey! i got excellent result, why should I stuck in art based. Its science based hype anyway.

I transferred to another school, in town. Spent four days there. All I did was sleeping whole day. I just woke up during recess time and blankly starring at abang abang Mydin angkut barang dari lori masuk store, 10 minutes before balik.

It was on thursday night. I checked my SBP application online, just to realized I was offered a place in Klang Top-school. The joy came for only one hour. I was glad to get that. But I never want one. All other siblings got offer in country top schools. Me, I never get one. The achievement was to get an offer, not to accept.

But hey ho.

Mom halfway pleaded me to accept the offer.

And asked me to perform istikharah. Done once, the answer was negative. Was asked to do second time. and third so I can have three replicates.

On my last Istikharah, I still remember the vision I had. I dont understand what was it, till later that week.

I cried (yup, cried) times, since I really don't want to go. (Drama queeeeen) Lastly, on Sunday, (Online result came out on thursday night) I decided that if offer letter came in, I will accept the offer. If not, than that was it.

Came back from school in puffy eyes, since slept whole day through school. The letter arrived. Registration was next day on Monday.

Went out to buy new sets of school uniform since one that I had was different.

Traveled to Kuala Lumpur by train that night. Arrived Kajang on the next morning. Later went to Klang.

It was so fast and different.

Everything. Before, I dont tug my bed in the morning. I woke up just in time to get ready and arrived before school bell rung. Iron just in front of my room door. I watched TV all times. I dont study at night, I watched TV. Then, there I was. I.dont.know.how.

I struggled whole year just to adapt with that new rules.

Still, woke up late, went to school late, wore uniform full with crinkles since I don't have iron on my own, and i was too lazy to went to next building just to iron. (gap between my dorm and next building is a baksetball court) Still slept all day through class. Morning class, sleep. Prep class, sleep. 11 o clock at night, lamp off then I sleep. Still I was the last person woke up and sleepy whole day.

Everyone else was soo diligent. And there I, with 3/100 for my add math paper.

I thought I know everything about city. Well, I went to Kuala Lumpur at least once a year before. I went to ice skating since I was 10. But, still I was a girl from small town in Kelantan.

I got all hype with KFC. Round eyes when saw friends went to KFC during Friday outing. What?? KFC was annual meal for me. (not really. maybe once in three months?)

Everyone there used Milk teddy. What was that? MILK TEDDY? Woaaaaaaaah. The feeling was like Hermes at that time (exaggeration ooo yeah)

I only went to The Store and Mydin in the Klang city, with people from 'outside'. Never know about Mid Valley. Is Mid Valley also a town?

Cikai handphone was something luxury, but classmate used latest model of Nokia. (mind me, My doctor-sister only used Nokia 3310 at that time). Woah.

Thus, watching Haitai in this Reply 1994, just remind me to my life during 2003.

I thought I was all hype, but just to realize I was halfway country bumpkin.

Hahahaha

That was in social life.

In study part, I never thought friends next to me can be Top 25 student for SPM. I was from small school before. I dont aim to be THE best, just to do best. I never thought I may have chances to study next to someone who was later offer place in Ivy League. I never get out from my comfort bubble. If I was to realize the situation earlier, I may force myself to grab all chances I can get.

I shoot at the airplane, later I touch down on merely just kite.

At sixteen. I really been in dreams.

Not sweet, not horrible. Just static.

If Reply 1994 was life during 20's. I reminiscing my teenage life.

The feeling of coming from town to big city, learning that friends was your only family now.

Some may thought I felt embarrassed while all telling this, but no. All those story just remind me of who I was. That was me, and I really want to stay that way. Naive is the new hipster.

I don't want to be a total city girl. I love my small town better. I still think Mid Valley is somewhere outside Malaysia, even now I stay thirty minutes drive from there.

Looking back, I may want to change something in the past. partly in my study life. But hey Ho. This is my life, not a plot in Nine drama. Nothing that can be changed. Just to do better in future.

Again, If I were to make a different decision now, I think I again will decline the offer.. I dont know what will happen If I were to stay in Maahad, for it never happened. But, after staying in those fast pace, high challenge and pressure life for two years, I know that just not for me. Or I to realized it earlier, so I can deal with it better.

But past is past, here is present. Deal with it the way it should be. The decision in past cannot be changed, but what happen in future can still be manipulate. Do better, perform better, and still have a nice future.


Thats all.

By the way, Chilbongie indeed the most handsome.

Oh, the dream? What I saw was guys, bersilat, with Bunga mangar. And everything woods. It was part of Opening Ceremony in my Minggu Suai Kenal.



Heh.


I hope this is not all crap.