tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50183196651263005012024-02-22T21:08:35.656+08:00mianicheDis is wer i wan to shout it out loud~w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.comBlogger207125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-2679331218312893592019-10-03T16:17:00.000+08:002019-10-03T16:17:43.996+08:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
There are few things I learned while watching Dr. John. And since I keep repeating this series again and again, I put my thoughts here. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The story is about a genius anaesthologist, in diagnosing patients together with his Pain Management team. But this doctor, Cha Yo Han is suffering from mutation of ntrk1 gene that lead to CIPA. Basically he cannot feel pain, and for anhidrosis, he can not regulate his body temperature well. Also, he can not sense any changes in temperature. Well, for any kind of gene mutation, usually the patient is having some sort of mental disabilty, which is usually what CIPA patient is. But, if they were to stick on the right track, we wont have this Cha Yo Han. <o:p></o:p></div>
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That’s all for the synopsis part. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Now, my ‘findings’. There will be spoilers in here. Read through if you are okay with that. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In Episode 5, Dr Kang Shi Young was looking for the café where he had her last meal with her dad. I almost cried watching this part. Mostly because I faced the same scene before. I always go out having afternoon meal with wea to various eateries. I somehow put myself in the situation. Reminiscing the last place me and wea had our last outing together. It should teach you that, things will last. Cherish this moment NOW. You wont know when you will miss it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In Episode 8, where he was diagnosing a priest with meliodiosis. There was part where Dr. Lee asked him, why does a deity allowed a pious man suffering when he is already devouted. Because as an atheist, Dr Lee cannot grip the conditon. The priest replied, for him, the sickness is part of an atonement for his previous sins. (He was a soldier, killed lots of peoples during war) Well, as a muslim, it kinda strike me through. Because Islam teaches us that pain and sickness is not a punishment. We may suffer, but we will be paid generously if we patiently suffering through. Sickness, disease and pain; no one want it, no one request it, and everyone will do anything to avoid it. But, we do not have any power over those, because as muslim we believe it as part of destiny. But Islam teaches us what is good behind this. Everything will bring in goodness in us, only if we allow ourselves to look into that. So, in Islam, even sickness bring us goodness, not punishment. We will be rewarded later on for the hardship we faced today. And for me, this is a very good motivation to go through the hardness. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I guess that is a good anwer for “why do we need to suffer?” “for later good”. When? In Islam we believe in life after death, when only your deeds matter, then this is the later good that is highly desired. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In Episode 14, where they discussed about Cherubim. “A drug that can let people die in peace” There was one terminally ill patient decided to undergo euthanization (illegally) with Cherubim, because he believed the drug can end his endless suffering, in peaceful way (they even showed the brain beta waves and alpha waves to indicate the peaceful mind the patient was in at his last breadth). The Yo Han then replied, he didn’t see that as something peaceful. He see that kind of death as something sorrowful, sad and lonely. His death is taken as a crime. Where again, in Islam, to have a peaceful death, full with love and dignity, you have to live in peace and dignity. Live as how you want to die. As in, you don’t need to use drug for the said case. You just need to live rightly. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Last, Yo Han is suffering with CIPA. Thus he cannot feel pain. Pain is, troublesome, burdensome right? But, just because he can not feel pain, he wont realised if he is in one. And because of that, he wont realised if he got infection. Even it you can diagnose it from the blood test, he cant localise it, because of the missing sense. You wont realise how big and beneficial of something that is so burden-full, until you totally lost it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Truthly, I cannot fathom how people can live without sensing pain. Then, things happened. I went to a weekend getaway with family. After some water activity, something was not right in my ear. It hurt badly. I went to the clinic for a check. Turned to, few days later, I need to meet with ORL doctor, and he sucked out the earwax from my eardrum. But, days after that, the pain was escalated in stead of reducing. I can feel it moving to my jaw and eyes. I did not think of any sort of infection, because I already met with ORL-HNS doctor. He didn’t notice any infection on my ear. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But the pain really bothering me till I need a painkiller, just to sleep. I decided to go to a GP right away. The area was already red and swelled badly which indicated an infection on my right ears, and it already moved to my left ears, jaws and my laryngal. Was prescribed with antibiotics. And alhamdulillah all is well now. This is the problem with people that can not feel pain. I know something wrong with my ear, because of the unpleasant feeling. But, if I did not realise the pain I was in, I wont go to have second treatment, then I wont realised the infection. See, pain is actually helping you. To pain is to live. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the last episode, Yo Han successfully developed a kind of pain killer that may help terminally ill cancer patient suffering with unbearable pain, so they can live their life fully, until death come to them. This bring back the previous point. You can doctrate how you die, by living your life. And as Islam teaches you, that you don’t know when will death come to you, thus you need to live your life fully. Death will come eventually, and you don’t know when and how. You don’t have control over that. What you can control is how we living before death came. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And last, it is okay to show your love. Like what Shi Young did. If you like someone, then you like him. It is okay to be in that way. <o:p></o:p></div>
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w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-35098667688371787412018-08-26T14:14:00.003+08:002018-08-26T14:14:25.005+08:00After the rain<div style="text-align: justify;">
#side note : I decided to revisit drafted write ups and finished it with current thought and posted it. I drafted this write up for quite a while, probably before puasa, since I stopped watching PNBMF right after the episode. Hahaha. Anyone, here you go!#<br />
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I keep this blog for a reason apparently. Hahah. </div>
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Now, here I am again after quite a while. </div>
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And during 'quite a while', so many things happened. So So many. Life changes events. So many that I dont know how to describe my 2017. An eventful years. </div>
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Anyway, just for an update on my life progress since last post: I quited my job, and then I joined another study, preparing myself to enroll for phD study. Changed my phone, and I downloaded all social media apps into this *newnotsonew* one and keep scrolling it every five minutes; i think. I just deleted facebook recently over that Cambridge Analytica whatever chaos <strike>(because I watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds)</strike>. But I still scrolling it from my browser <strike>(Because of Mathew Gray Gubler. Daniel Henney? Em, who's thaaaaat, again?)</strike>. What a life, huh? </div>
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My current korean drama is Pretty noona buys me food, which I think is totally too good to be true kind of drama. Well, lets face it. What is the chance some very well eligible gentleman, most sought after gentleman suddenly chase you, over all admirable women surrounds him?. Yes, the chance is not nil (definitely 100% in drama), but for the story to be happened to <strike>me</strike> you IRL, em, perhaps 1%? </div>
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Hahah. Aci laaa. Jung Hae In is bae nonetheless. Hahahaha. Drama is a drama anyway. Mana lagi nak jumpa kisah kisah yang TGTBT (too good to be true) kecuali dalam drama kan? Drama Korea summore. Hahah Plus, walaupun life Jin Ah tu pathetic gilaa in first few episode, still its Sohn Yeh Jin kut. Sohn Yeh Jin Okkeh. </div>
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Hahah. What ever. new *ty make me a bitter person i guessed. LOLOL.</div>
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Plus, walaupun drama tu is totally on romance, I think it carry satirical towards their society quite well. Kes ibu Jin Ah lah mostly. </div>
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Macam scene 1: </div>
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Jin Ah vs Gyu Min. Yes, Gyu Min tu graduate SNU. Kerja hebak. Family dahsyat. Still, watak dia douchebag gitu. Tapi, mak Jin Ah ni still support someone yang dump anak dia, two timing anak dia etc etc, just because his lineage and career. Sebab benda tu akan lagi UP kan family dia dimata masyarakat sekeliling. Tak kisah lah lelaki tu treat anak kau baik ke tak, anak kau happy ke tak. As long as he got those titles. Cehhhs</div>
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Scene 2 : </div>
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I think this part is very prominent to me. Despite how conflicted actual scene were. Episod 10 rasanya. Part mak Jin Ah jatuh then cracked her arm. So whole family bawa mak dia ke hospital. Sampai di hospital, Jin Ah iring mak dia jumpa doktor. Both adik and ayah dia duduk di ruangan menunggu, yang juga dipenuhi dengan lelaki. Then datang another family, bawa ayah yang dah tua. Anak perempuan iring, belakang dia ada seorang lelaki tolong pegangkan bag and then join duduk di ruangan menunggu. I already felt something here, tapi maybe it just my perspective kan. Then when this scene occured, ha, betul laaa perspective I!. </div>
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Masalah dengan family hari ni, dalam family kita tak tonjolkan perasaan sayang dalam family. Just because family tend to stick together through tick and thin. kita kadang kadang tak rasa untuk berusaha atau tonjolkan our love and appreciation toward our family member. Lain bila bercinta. Sebab kalau bercinta, kita kena berusaha untuk kekalkan affection towards one another kan. Sebab tu lah love story selalunya between lovers. </div>
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You show love, you say it out loud bila dengan partner aja. </div>
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So somehow, people dont know how to show love.<br />
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I didnt tell my mom 'I love her' because she ain't cheesy that way. But I try my best to show it. I show her that I care. That I really care. </div>
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So that my mom knows she is definitely My Numero Uno. </div>
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Anyway, back to the drama, sebab Jin Ah ni pernah sakit and she learn how to treat your loved one from Joon Hee, so she treat her mom in that same way. Full with affectionate and care. And she said it clearly, "I learn it from Joon Hee, on how to show your love"<br />
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Its kinda satirical for me. Because I also live in a community which showing love in the family is very awkward.<br />
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Anyway as my sidenote said, I stopped watching this drama after this episode. Didnt finish it off.<br />
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And, I shift to more slice of life kind of drama which is My Mister. Still new, just into middle of episode 2. The camera shift too much that sometimes I cant track the movement. Iya lah, nak baca subtitle lagi, nak tengok face reaction lagi. Pening la. But, I'm hooked. For now, I'm hooked. </div>
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I liked Lee Sung Gyun, Yes. But, IU punya character really touch me. </div>
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And we I decided to ramble this here, I reread what I wrote for last time AND, it kinda intertwined!. ahahahaha</div>
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Well, I tweeted this last night;</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdn1l1ZsePdoR0vzgHfS9ObjWDOEqfC19QN6ntZReigDiUrLR_H5jkbE08z8Hv-Yco4CSrji8FUJrvUTjcaLWvwW8UMbHR21viPMDcZSuboyftdr9r6e2iVcioDlyNn51QH0tAElKLIvBX/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-05-06+at+3.53.58+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="109" data-original-width="590" height="59" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdn1l1ZsePdoR0vzgHfS9ObjWDOEqfC19QN6ntZReigDiUrLR_H5jkbE08z8Hv-Yco4CSrji8FUJrvUTjcaLWvwW8UMbHR21viPMDcZSuboyftdr9r6e2iVcioDlyNn51QH0tAElKLIvBX/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-05-06+at+3.53.58+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Many dont realise this; Option, is the most luxury things you can have. People who can opt to not washing dishes, not cleaning house not doing any house chores versus people “if i dont do it, nobody will”. If i dont prepare my food then i wont have anything to eat. Like that.<br />
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Oh well, that is still OKAY.<br />
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Compare to people, who like IU character in My Ahjushi.<br />
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She can only have left over food from the restaurant. Sounds ermmm ehm.. right?<br />
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Well, she the only option she can have is, to have that kind of food, or dont eat at all. But one have to eat to live and survive. So, basically she dont have any other option beside to eat it and survive for another day.<br />
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There are lots of arguments going on online. But people kinda forget, where they stand. They can say words, have opinions and everything because they have options to not to be in the other shoes. But for the people they accused, or curt, do they have the same luxury, the same option as you?<br />
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Think people, think. Empathy. </div>
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w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-801803633483141562017-04-09T03:12:00.000+08:002017-04-09T03:12:33.193+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've been detoxing myself from social media for, ehem, a day? Hahah. Its quite easy for me because i just need to delete all socmed apps from my phone. Its kinda stuffing actually. People i followed on Twitter kept on arguing about something that wont go anywhere. Well, everyone has their own opinion. Hence it kinda stuffing to read people's opinion when they themselves closing their mind from others. </div>
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I live in my own niche. I dont really know others. I may heard stories, emphatizing on their hardship and everything. But still, i'll go back to my own life and starts to shape their life according to my own POV. Such like, I believe education is everything. Knowledge is everything. When I heard stories of kids leaving school to work, because they are the sole breadwinner. I feel the hardship. I emphatize with them. But I still feels like they should hold it in.If only they can wait for a few while, if only this, if only that... Just keep swimming for a little while until you finished with, at least your high school. Atleast you get better pay, better opportunity with only SPM. It will be better with other certificate, or diploma and degree, wont it? Better opportunity, better life. Kan? </div>
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What I failed to understand is, there are things unavoidable for some people. Macam skrip Kemboja dalamAdiwiraku, </div>
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Cikgu pernah dak tak makan dua tiga hari? Saya pernah cikgu. Kalau saya datang sekolah, siapa nak kerja cikgu? Kalau saya tak kerja, siapa nak bagi kami makan?</blockquote>
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A very simple words yet soo strong. Food is staple. You'll die by not eating. But you'll live without education. Kan? </div>
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Your opinion still valid. Education can change their life, make it better. But, given those lemons, you can squeez it into lemonade. But its hard to make lemon cake. More people would like lemon tart, over lemonade. Still, lemon tart need more stuffs and expertise than just water and sugar. Kan? Tapi, kalau simpan lama lama, tunggu nak belajar buat tart, habis rosak buruk lemon tu. Agree? Well enough with my useless metaphore. What I want to say is, yes, when I heard stories like Kemboja's, I be emphatize with her, pitying her, but i still hold my opinion strong. She should be let to finish her study, for better living in the future. Just because you 'already in her future' phase.You think you know better, just because.... because i will never be Kemboja, what ever I think is because I am not her. </div>
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That is it. </div>
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Sebab tu cam serabut gilaaa baca all those arguments. You are arguing things for people you never want to understand. You say you understand their situation, still you understand them from YOUR OWN PERSPECTIVES. Then keep arguing. And because everyone entitled to their opinion. What I need to do is to restrain my ownself. </div>
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Okay, now I understand Seo Young and Woo jae's argument better. Hahah</div>
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ANDDDDDDD</div>
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The easiest way is to move away from those. Stop reading. </div>
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So i deleted all of those apps from my main phone, but keep it in my second phone. But because it is already a habit to check for notification, i always always checking my phone to realise there is nothing to check anymore. Then i ended reading blogs mostly on korean dramas, and started watching new drama that i never intend to. Perks of detoxifying myself, kahkahkah. </div>
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And there was times that I have things to ramble on my twitter page, but I dont have it anymore. Signing in on webpage was kinda hassle, and that was not compliance with my effort. So I just chunk my word. Well not that everyone need to know every opinion i have. </div>
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There was a post from someone I followed on instagram. She asked people, what has social media made you? Other may say intriguing, self doubt and so on. But for me, i just realised apart from that, social media made in informative. In both ways. I got to know latest update on things happening whether in Malaysia or in the world. But, it also kept me informed with peoples opinion, and that showed how sick our society currently is. The liberalist, feminist, racist and every opinion every people has. </div>
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Its bad for my mental status. </div>
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So, i gonna try to keep on detoxifying myself for couple more days and lets see if I can make it, or not. And for that, perhaps i will be visiting this blog more often. Yeah, my thoughts and opinion surely longer than 140 characters. Leulss.</div>
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Till then, ja mata ne</div>
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Salam</div>
w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-8327002951774448152017-04-01T02:46:00.004+08:002017-04-01T02:46:56.908+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">
I am back to my Korean Drama mode. Please pardon me. I think if I just take art stream, I can nail it better than me doing science. Hahah. </div>
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It is already 1st April. Nine more days toward employment. Somehow I got new resolution. Gonna work till I can have enough money to pay for another master study in anything that I want. And that mostly will be International Relationship or History study. I just gonna do that out of my interest, for the knowledge solely. So, I been googling for universities that offer the most interesting course, and the fee. Gahhh the fee in expensive, really! Like double than my MSc fee. I guess I gonna work for long lah if like this.</div>
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Anyway, as the title said, I am thinking of talking about another drama tonight. Kihkihkih. Can you see how many drama I have been watching lately? Gila lah. I start to understand those easy korean words. Easy, but harder than everyday greetings. Sometimes I can even understand the whole sentence. I take that as something good those drama do to me. That I able to learn new language after hours of watching all those dramas. </div>
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Well, tonight I decided to revisit WISFC again. There are dramas with sloppy storyline (according to me) but I just like it. Whether it have a nice cinematography (like On The Way To The Airport) or a very good character upbringing (like Will It Snow for Christmas) or nice script with spot on translation (such like Lovers in Prague). Or, it have everything (like Reply 1988) which meant it was a good drama, totally not sloppy or what ever. There are dramas that I collect just because it have one or two line/scene that I super love. Only one or two out of those 16 episodes. But yeah. I just love it, hence all that goes into my collection, Such like Boys over flower (Korean version). I really dont like that drama. The storyline is ridiculous, some of the actors was bad. But it still in my collection because of two plot. One, Ji Hoo mansion. It only appeared a bit. Hahah. But its drooly. It was a traditional house (Hanok like) with modern interior. Something that I totally love.</div>
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I always in awe with traditional house, let it be Malay kayu house, or Chinese house, or Japanese House or the Hanok with modern interior. Like what they have in Cinderella Sister's. And this reason is also why I love On The Way To The Airport despite its confusing storyline and theme (But that drama also raised few life question on me. I'll write more if the Q still linger on my mind). Well, OTWTTA is perfectly beautiful drama (according to me). When I watched that, I kept on pausing and screen capping on every spectacular cinematography. Do Woo's Hanok (The absolute beauty), Do Woo's little cottage in Jeju, the outside view from its window, Even Soo Ah's house in Jeju was also pretty. Plus, I never want to travel to Korea before (even after how many drama I watch) till I watch that scenery. The view from Do Woo's office and his little cottage. Totally WOW. And, ehemss, they got LSY in it. Ehek. </div>
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Well back to BOF. The second plot that I love was the conversation between Ga Eul and Yi Jung. The metaphor that he used between human's heart and a ceramic cup. Ga Eul just got dump to an a**hole, and Yi Jung was there to console her. He gave her this metaphor which somehow I already save it, as a quotation </div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">‘</span><i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">How long do you think it took to make it strong like that? It got rolled, stepped on, and cut on. It has to endure a heat of 1300 degrees. But that not the end of it. If it does not become yours even after all of that hardship, then you have to give up on it cleanly.'</span></i></blockquote>
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Yes, just because of this two, I still keep this 24-episodes drama in my hard disk. WISFC also got pretty home. Kang Jin's house which he turned it half into his office is also pretty. The house design have a rustic feeling, but the inside is cool. Like what they have for Hyun Suk art studio and office in Twenty Again. Its pretty. I am totally sold. </div>
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Next is, the characteristic. I always always fall for deep character. Like what they have for Kang Jin in WISFC, or Hyun Suk in Twenty Again or Dong Ryong in Reply 1988 and Do Woo in OTWTTA. OTWTTA is totally weird. I like Do Woo, especially when he said <i>"Lets discuss this. I dont want to fight." </i>(He was deep, wasn't he?) I super like his house, I like his job and characteristic. I just dont like the story. Kehkehkeh. I always like a good depth of one character, because it made the drama more lively. Anyway, what I really want to say is, characteristic is another reason one boring drama got into my collection. </div>
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If you read previous post, I updated a lot on King 2 Hearts, which one of my favorite (despite they kill Eun Shi Kyung for no reason. I think the only reason they kill him was because they dont want him to have a good love line with Jae In pfft). The drama was totally fictional. Royalty is also one boring subject. But the drama successfully raised few issues in me. One is totally on international relationship and that made me dig on North Korea. I just really want to know what is beneath all those freaking news about that country. Another one is Jae Ha himself. He is a gone-case at first. But when he need to be in charge, he just showed that he have everything that needed for him to carry out those duty. And women power in Hyang Ah. Plus this drama helped me with my grammar. my SVA- subject verb agreement. Since the title is King 2 Hearts, that mean noun with S is plural. That help me in many ways. </div>
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Anyway, most of my favorite couple are those who showed that being together made them better and stronger. You can see that pattern in my list of favorite drama. Well, I talked a lot about that premise when I talked about Twenty Again. </div>
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Thats all I guess, for now. </div>
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I should just do study on film, dont I?</div>
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Gahhhh</div>
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w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-41240313105273310912017-03-31T00:49:00.003+08:002017-03-31T00:49:49.065+08:00I dont know what to do with my life<div style="text-align: justify;">
I installed an app in my 'new' phone so that i can update new entry on my blog just by using phone. Its not new actually, the phone. My sister was so pissed with my plug hugger, always-got-no-battery Redmi. So she decided to pass me her cracked iphone 6. Since she already got herself a brand new iphone. That said, i got myself a totally screen-cracked 5" inch phone, which so far i used to read blogs and capture instaworthy pics. </div>
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Well, with this app, i gonna upload more entry, since twitter only permit 140 character in every tweet. And, i know there are people (that follow me) read my nonsense tweet. Well, sometimes i just want to rant things out but i dont want people to read it. Hahah. This is this blog is all about. If you read this, im fine. Just dont let me know that you read. Kah kah kah. </div>
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Well, today is last day of March, mean it only 10 days towards employment. I secured a job in KB. Sometimhing that i dont like. But, it pay the billsand my upcoming trip definately. I still uphold my dream to work jn a lab somewhere in this negeri Cik Siti Wan Kembang, or away as far as Japan or Korea. Hahah. Got so many things to settle with before i start working, including siapkan bilik,siapkan correction,siapkan manuscript,medical check up yada yada. But i just tossed everything. Really didnt feel like working yet. But yeah, let just try for 3 months, if im good then all is good. At least, ada monthly income ni boleh lah berangan nak pergi Namibia dah. Or Korea. </div>
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My friend suddenly update about her depression, which is kinda worrying. She always always update something about her stressful life. I really thought it was about her postgrad life. There is a period when you just giving up with it,but people around you wont allow you to. The only reason that keep me moving. People (family) expectation is the hardest par to reach. Totally understand her on that. But her condition in worse. She seeked help for that, dont worry. </div>
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One of my friend used this tag line for her socmed profile: </div>
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"I hate this feeling that I am not good enough" </blockquote>
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At first, I think that is a simple statement. But it grown big on me now. I really hate myself when i think I am not good enough. Self doubt. The feeling is already bad when you doubting yourself. It definately worse when people doubting you. I have one sister that always ask me, whether i am to finish my study or not. She thought that as an encouragement. But i did not feel the same. As I said before, self doubting is already bad, people doubting you make things worse. </div>
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What ever lah. </div>
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So LSY has another new drama. It is action pack,with heavy theme. Totally not my genre. But i gonna watch it for LSY. Keh keh keh. Well he pairing with LBY kut! Definately favourite duo. Just dont make it a sad ending. Please please please. I always have hard drawnback syndrome with sad ending. Terjebak kisah Hindustan sangat. I dont watch last episode of Story of a Man because they decided to kill Eun Soo in the eleventh hour. I finished with King 2 Hearts with resent feeling, again, because they kill Shi Kyung out of no where. I can handle Time between dog and wolf because they decided to give new life and hope to Soo Hyun. I am dramatically sucked into drama that I watch. That is why I always stay on light and fluffy theme. </div>
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Well the drama just started last week. Gonna wait till it finish airing before I start watching it. It is action packed with cliff hanging episode end. And gonna get all spoiler that I can before I start watching. Kah kah kah</div>
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Okay lah. Thats all. </div>
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Nak marathon MDLSY lagi malam ni</div>
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Ill write about that drama one day. </div>
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w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-77051252126440344332017-03-26T02:38:00.001+08:002017-03-26T02:38:18.588+08:00Come out of the closet<div style="text-align: justify;">
I finished writing something that I *really* need to write. Been procrastinated on that for years and finally I able to submit it. Such.an.achievement.Pat.on.own.shoulders. Despite all, it was a scary phase for me during submission period. Part of me wants to finish it fast, another part of me was not ready to let it go. Ending something means you starting something new. But, me ending my long years of post graduate life when I still do not know what new to start. Tanam anggur? </div>
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I am turning into new -ty years this upcoming September. My when-I-am-27-life resolution is none checked yet. Basically I dont have job, I dont have saving, I dont invest in anything, I have nothing. I have travelling tickets to somewhere je. Hahah Future seems so bleak (except for the coming trip, surely). </div>
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Age should not be a limit. Age is just a number. Yes. But when the system putting age as the limit, you are running against time. I saw few job application which putting age as a limitation. Kalau kerja part time, I can understand that. Somehow, you dont know how to work with someone over your own age kan. Rasa awkward. Yeap, I can understand that. The scholarship also putting age as the limit. There are some which I already passed the requirements, which is totally a frustration. GAHHHHH</div>
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Oh well. Pardon me.</div>
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I did not plan to wail much on my current life progress. It may sounds bad. but trust me, I currently enjoying this laid back, stagnant, potato couching period. The main problem currently is to choose where to have our breakfast je. I dont need to think what to eat for lunch or dinner pun. HAHAH.</div>
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But, I have this feeling of blabbing something, at least rant up things, to keep me writing. LOL. Bila orang suruh menulis tanak. Dah siap menulis, gatal pulak tangan. KAHKAHKAH</div>
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To write a lot, means you need to read a lot. So words can flow easily between your thought. Honestly, I am never a good writer. My mind is kinda complicated, hence my word is always always intertwined. However, unexpectedly i got praised for my writing. They said my story line is quite smooth. I really WOWed with all those comments, since that was never in me. I guessed, lots of reading really help you. However, to read a scientific write up is a struggle. At least for me. At 3 a.m in the morning. Hence, I settled with something much much simpler. The <a href="http://www.dramabeans.com/">dramabeans</a> website. LOL. </div>
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It is a drama review website. They talk mostly on Korean drama and movie. Sometimes about Korean entertainment industry, the gossips and what so ever. They have several writers, but I only enjoy reading write up by Javabean or Girlfriday and sometimes Gummimochi. That is why I often fall for highly-praised dramas by those three. I dont really read their review because of the drama review. Well, since I watched those, I dont need to know the synopsis anymore. I read because of the write up. They are a good writer. And the website is updated few times daily (There were blogs that I like. But they posted new entry like once in four months? That does not feed my daily blog hunger what). </div>
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I think my suddenly acquired writing skills is because of reading all those dramabeans articles. HEH. And I really dont want it to puff away. That's why I decided to write things on this blog. (Is this a deja vu, OR I did say this before?) But I dont want to pour much things about my personal life, since this blog is public and I really dont know who are you my dear readers (if there is any). So i turning this blog as dramabeans alike LOL.</div>
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I am not reviewing any drama, I just gonna talk about drama I watched. What I like, What I love, What I blergh. Basically my feelings towards all those dramas I watch. </div>
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Before that, I need to say that, my genre is kinda twisted. I dont really enjoy those high hype dramas *cough*Goblin*cough*. Some of my friend use my recommendation as drama that they need to stay away LOL <strike>exaggeration</strike>. But, definitely something light, something fluffy, something with dose of romantic essence. Since I am hopeless romantic by heart. </div>
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Well, I never say that out loud. Tried hard enough to act cool and conceal everything. But it is a hard core that its showing. LOL. I watched k-dramas. How can I am not a hopeless romantic, people? KAHKAHKAH. And this non-surprising announcement is what I meant with the title. Please, do relate okeh.</div>
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So, for my first drama, I gonna talk about 'TWENTY AGAIN'</div>
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Yo! The Lee Sang Yoon Twenty Again.</div>
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I hooked with this drama because of Javabean review. Hooked with this drama first, then with Lee Sang Yoon second. LOL. I dont like Choi Ji Woo. (Even my first K-drama was Winter Sonata). Not that I hate her, it just I dont like her. Twenty Again has her as the leading actress. I dont know Lee Sang Yoon at first. Why this drama quite a hype? (It was a TVN drama, not some big channel drama) </div>
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The story line is quite simple. There was 38 years old Ha No Ra. She got married at 18, had a son at 19, and getting divorced at 38. She was a devoted housewife. The husband was a lecturer, and having some affairs with his fellow colleague. But he divorcing her with the lame excuse that she just not in par with him. </div>
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"I cant talk, cant discuss anything with you because you cant understand any word I said" kinda bullshit. </blockquote>
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So she was in verge of separation. Added to that, his son kinda shamed having her as the mother (ketuk kepala Min Woo). More sadly, she was diagnosed with terminally ill cancer. She was having all those bad bad thing in life, but she took very different path. </div>
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She enrolled into university because she just want to be in same league with her husband and a mother that her son can be proud of. Unfortunately, it was the same university with her son, his husband (the husband just got transferred into new workplace) AND his husband new fling. PLUS his long lost friend.</div>
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The story was about women empowerment. I love Ha No Ra spirit. Life gave her lemon, she really made lemonade out of it. </div>
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But what I fall for the story was ehemss obviously Cha Hyun Suk. The roll played by Lee Sang Yoon. He was Ha No Ra friend from High School. She was his first love. The Ha No Ra he fell for was someone with high spirit, ambitious, proud with pride. The Ha No Ra he met after twenty years was someone bleak. someone with low self esteem. someone totally different. He tried to help his friend to gain back her persona, to be back the Ha No Ra he knew. </div>
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(Oh, later she found out the diagnosed was totally wrong) </div>
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The main thing I love about this Cha Hyun Suk is, his thoughtfulness and his analytical mind and his sincerity. I always fall for deep thinking and people (guy especially) who live life freely. Brook Brothers guy is bawring. Hyun Suk did what he loves and pays the bills with it. He love what he was doing, hence he really indulge in it. The most part I love is how he pushed No Ra to be the great No Ra again. He was annoying indeed. But, sweetly annoying. </div>
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The plot hold less love line. They were friends. What he did was purely for his forlorn friend. He even tried to save the wedlock. Till when No Ra finally decided to move forward, just then the love sparks. Well they ended together, obviously. </div>
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This drama is definitely a definition of my feminism.</div>
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Woman can be strong on their own. But together with right person (guy) they totally can be everything. Feminism should not be about empowering on gender by lowering the other. Feminism for me is all about empowering yourself (as a woman), and help you right wing to shine when you both together. </div>
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I dont know much about feminism. Never made any effort to go and read about it. But for me, the movement is far beyond 'why only women cooks, why only women took care of house chores ETC'. You dont need to be certain gender to respect others. Respecting others equal to be respected by others. Being a housewife like No Ra (in the beginning and toward the end) is not something low, or to be shame of. Housewife holds dignity. A guy should never think his housewife simply. I really love it when the husband (now ex-husband) realized how magnanimous his wife really was. The bad was him. The shameful was him. Not his wife. </div>
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The other part that I love was the discussion about 'Do what you love' VS 'Do things that pay the bills'. There was two characters, The sunbae (Soon Nam) and Seung Hyun. No Ra's classmate. The sunbae was a good dance choreographer. But he decided to do majoring in management. Just because degree in management have more job offering. While in other hand, Seung Hyun decided to take her current field just because she loves it. It really struck me. The why you choose what you do life question. I did what I was offered. Not because I love it, or I good at it. Luckily my majoring creep under my skin, and I started to love what I do (but I cant pay my bills with it). This back to Hyun Suk. When you do something you love, you excel in it and you turn it into something that can generate money. In the end, the sunbae worked in art and performance, which enable him pay his life and doing something he was good. He sacrifice with small payment, but, yeap, he dont live solely for money at least. </div>
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I felt like taking Master in Political Science, because I think the topics in it was interesting and suit my delight. UM offered the course as a coursework. I think most univ offers the course. UIA may offer the cheapest fee. I can took loan with PTPTN for fee. But, what can I do with the cert? Can I get better job with it? Is it worth to get a loan when you dont know how you gonna pay it. And this brought to another plot that I love.</div>
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The discussion between taking study loan VS the job you can obtain. Seung Hyun study freely. She studied what she loves at her own pace. She took break to work, and gained money for fee and allowances. No Ra decided to terminate her study in the end, because her study loan totally outweigh her life benefit. Yeap, knowledge is something money can buy. But she made that decision since she dont really indulge in her courses. She knew what she want to do (at the age of 38) and definitely knowledge is not something that only cert can prove. </div>
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I was lucky enough because my study loan for degree was settled. I live with little money (less than others with PTPTN. Still, it was enough for my living. Able to have Kenny Rogers and Nandos once every semester. Not bad, huh?) But, because of that, I didnt struck with study loan (with interest some more). Back to the topic, If you decided to take a courses with least job employment, will you or will you not applying loan up till 50k (with 4% interest rate)? When the cert may get you a job with small payment. Will you, will you not?</div>
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It kinda sucks when knowledge you gain is money defined. kan? </div>
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Well that is it. About my Twenty Again. </div>
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This drama introduce me to Lee Sang Yoon. He graduated with degree after thirteen years in school. (SNU to be exact). His life somehow relate-able with this drama. He finished his study even after dragged for quite a while. Even he decided not to pursue career in the field. A certificate is something that can consider as life achievement. Still, when you spent time, money and effort finishing something for the sake of finishing it (hopefully because of the knowledge), it is really something. </div>
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That is it I think. I wrote lot. Perhaps it will take some time before I write something again. Heh</div>
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I didnt re-read my write up. There may be grammatical error. Do point out if you found some. Help me to improve my language. </div>
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In the meanwhile, lets listen to this drama OST, by Roy Kim. One of my favourite. </div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VCKGJpSvQ7E" width="560"></iframe></div>
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And another one, by Jung Joong Il</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/1y28kUaTKg0" width="560"></iframe></div>
w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-45678600786981621592016-02-09T00:28:00.000+08:002016-02-09T00:28:02.990+08:00Oh well, Hello!<br />
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Salam, greetings to all. Hahaha, where have I been?<br />
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I was about to ask where have the Madan spirit gone, then I realised, i kept repeating that question in my previous post. Hahaha.<br />
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It is a long break here, 4 days holiday. And I decided to not go back to my hometown, since I planned to go back for good next week. Well, the project pretty much summed up. Even I still a PCR to run, since I successfully (till now) running away from qPCR task. And a manuscript to submit. I targeted result and discussion part to be 6 pages each, and I stucked at page 4 since 13 january. I think I have all the datas/points, but i just cant bring myself to write that down.<br />
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Well, my PCR didnt work really well. It occurred worse that what Afiq has predict.<br />
#1: you got nice band, but you throw the gel away<br />
#2 : you got a band, but you lost it during gel purification<br />
#3 : you didnt get any band<br />
#4 : Afiq said : you succeed finally. But, my gel got wrong, so I got a very thin band. So I run again for #5. and I did not get any band at all. sighh. I planned to run it yesterday. But my day was not productive at all. So i am gonna run it again well, maybe tomorrow. sighhh. things never go straight for me. <br />
<br />
So I planned to stay home on this long weekend, to pack up my stuffs and to write.<br />
<br />
But,<br />
<br />
I didnt write even a letter.<br />
<br />
and i finished two movies, and I dont know how many masterchefS episodes. Nasib baik packing bergerak la jugak. or else, i just TLDM for this past three days.<br />
<br />
Well, I plan to go back for good, by next week, the latest.<br />
<br />
It was four years since I started my days in Bangi. There is so many good memories here. Ill write a special post on that later. Well, later can be three years later kan? Hahaha<br />
<br />
I left home when I was 16, for boarding school. Since then, the longest stay in hometown was only three months for semester break. Eh, maybe seven months, when I was waiting for my SPM result. But for this, I maybe settled down there. Well, I dont really have any plan for my future yet. Hahahaha, turning 3 series in a year peeps, but still.... sigh.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I dont know.<br />
<br />
Oh well, I finally curated the tweet/sains account.<br />
<br />
I did share few things, which I hope I did that successfully. But then, I think I bore the people there. I loose followers day by day. Hahahahahahaha. What did I think? <br />
<br />
Well, I talked about a very technical talk about transcriptome. Who want to know about that? Even myself! hahahaha.<br />
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Okay lah, nak pergi menyelesaikan beberapa hal<br />
<br />
I hope, this writing can be a kickstart for my manuscript writing later ( this later hope to be in one or two hours later kekekekeke)<br />
<br />
if not, you'll see me again here<br />
<br />w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-16243913169110916112015-12-17T02:52:00.000+08:002015-12-17T02:52:24.482+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">
LOL. </div>
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Where have my 'Madan' spirit gone to? Back in Cambridge maybe. </div>
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Anyhooo, I listened to a radio talk this evening. About trend to get marry early. A 'trend'. I dont understand why people can decide on something big just because it is the current trend. Marriage is something BIG. Wedding gown is not. I dont have any issue with people got married at a very young age. Heck, mama got married when she was 18. </div>
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Really, I dont. </div>
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But, dont just jump into that wagon because it is the current trend. </div>
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Yeap, I knew there are some 'instafamous' that got married at young age. And they keep showing their happiness on ig. </div>
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Yes. An innocent mind will keep imagining marriage as something fairy as "Cik Cinderella and Encik Tengku". (What the heck production deciding to produce something like this. Baca title dia pun dah blergh. Came across that drama on my Facebook timeline. Seriously TV3?. I dont mind on rom-com. Most K-drama I watched were rom-com. But, Cik Cinderella? Encik Tengku. Vomit.) </div>
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Once before, I listened to Maria Elena and Aiman Azlan slot on 'If I knew' regarding things that 'only they know before they got married'. Because people kept commenting on Nadrah. yeap cutie pie. For me, it was so funny when Aiman was humm-humm reading comments on their live telecast. Then he needed to explain again that marriage was not as bad as what they just said. It have happiness share on ot. Yeap. they just talks about problems they faced after they got married. I was rolling my eyes.</div>
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I am noob on relationship and anything along this words, but I know marriage is something realistic. You fight and argue with your siblings whom you know, and live together since you were born. How come you can live happily-no-fight all time with someone you just got married? Just be real. </div>
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Okay, back to the kahwin muda. Really, i dont mind people get married early. Provided they are mature enough to understand on their decision. </div>
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I super hate people saying "Kahwin cepat nak elak maksiat". What? what the stand? Yup, kahwin boleh menghalalkan satu perhubungan, hence maksiat bila korang bercinta, so bila kahwin you can call love of your life what ever you want, and thats halal. Yup. agreed</div>
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Ingat kahwin tu keluar dating, abang sayang abang sayang je ke? </div>
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What ever. </div>
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Kahwin and trend should not be at a same par. </div>
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Im not saying everyone young is immature so tak boleh lagi nak kahwin. No. Immature and young yang nak kahwin muda sebab dok tengok ig, then post post fb pasal mithali mithali ni la yang sila reflect on getting marriage. </div>
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Why do i really pissed with this issue. Why? I dont know. I should just stop.</div>
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Anyhow. I rewatch 20 again tonight. </div>
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It just remind me of mama. </div>
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Mama got married right after she finished with her secondary school. She was excellent student. I know, if she got chance to pursue with higher education, she maybe a professor right now. But, well, she chose to have us instead. Years before, she enrolled into a persijilan program in UM. She was so excited with that, went to kuliah on weekends, having exam, finishing her program. I still remember, she was having an exam, and she tried to open her book everynight after finished with kitchen duty. She was really happy. Well, she is one who loves 'ilm really much. She attend many kuliyyah in masjid. Anywhere within her reach. Then she able to join a formal kuliyyah from an ustaz in a lecture hall. After she finished her persijilan, someone ajak dia to pursue with Diploma. But she reject the offer. "nanti ada assignment, presentation. Takpe lah"</div>
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Watching Ha No Ra just remind me of mama who went back to school, in their later years. I envy them for their love of ilm. Not for someone among us who go to university, just because that is a life ritual. </div>
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Do things, decide on something, when you have a stand on that. Dont just follow any trend. </div>
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sleepy. Bye. Night.</div>
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Assalamualaikum!</div>
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w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-50867129510424186722015-10-06T14:53:00.000+08:002015-10-06T14:53:25.502+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hiiii! </div>
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Long time no see you. where goes my Madan Challenge? Back to Cambridge dah jugak agaknya. LOL</div>
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So whats the update?</div>
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So Mascot works failed. (yeahh, sejak bila workflow smooth? Tak nye. mesti ada hiccups here and there) Turn out, we need to convert out .d file into .mgf for full version Mascot to read it. More, since PJ side is not familiar with Bruker system much, while Bangi side is not familiar with Full version Mascot, and proteins work, so, whatever PJ side suggesting, cannot be implemented in Bangi. </div>
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One: because the computer is not mine. Hence I cannot pandai pandai godek here and there. Moreover the computer is the one that attached to LC system. Berani nak memandai. if anything happened to the system, then How? How? Hahaha. Second is because, all software is licensed. And it is not cheappppp. Like 50k per license. Gila heck. Science never make you rich, but it is not cheap either. Well, Mascot license is around 50K. maybe more now, since our currency is laike blerghh. At least it is cheaper than lipidomics. Lipidomics is 1.5M mehhh. Come onnnn, tu sama mahal dengan LC itself dah kot. Pasrah, sebab semua software Transcriptomic is open source. Hahaha. </div>
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So, here and there, this and that, I cannot install Compass extension into the system. JUST.BECAUSE.THE.SYSTEM.IS.32.BIT. Grrr. Menstresskan I for whole week tau. Xtract is very specific. They need ONLY 64 Bit system, with Vista OS. Or, XP SP3. Even Wine is not accepted. And sadly our system is 32 Bit. So, How lah?I dont have Compass (licensed). So I cannot install Xtract (the extension, Freeware).</div>
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Nasib baik we got free trial version of PEAKS. another Software. So I tried to 5 laptop. Installed PEAKS, then Xtract. The shitty things is that Xtract installer have two version. One is 3.1.4-64 and another one is 3.1.4 which have 'for 64-bit' statement on both. I tried with larger size installer (3.1.4) around 42MB. And it did not work with all laptops. Dah lah semua laptop orang. Habis semua yang guna XP or Vista ada PEAKS. LOL. Nasib baik semua sporting. Tapi tak tahu la sporting ke kuasa senior terguna disitu. Hahahahaha. </div>
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<br /></div>
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So I tried to download the other one. the 32 MB. But, internet line here was su*kS. It stated 32MB will take 3 hours. Okay laa, since I'm going out for lunch anyway. When I got back, it stuck at 3 MB onleh. Everywhere. Wifi connection, cable in Bioinfo lab. All connection s*cks. </div>
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I got all rage. Hahahaha. </div>
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I rarely get stress, so when I got stress, it is a bizarre. Mind wont work properly. I guess ill spark at a question of 1+1 even. </div>
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So I went back, and download those at home. 1 minute. Grr.</div>
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The problem is again, my laptop is in Linux OS. </div>
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Nasib baik Kak long punya laptop is Vista, 64 Bit. </div>
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So sekarang laptop kaklong ada PEAKS with CompassXtract extension. LOL. anyone doing proteomic works and having problem in conversion boleh jumpa Kak long lepas ni. </div>
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<br /></div>
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So, Im going to UM again esok. I dont have any expectation on the result, as I dont think it will give any good result. But let just do it. Since we have the MS data already. Kan? </div>
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<br /></div>
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Anyway, I have provided the authorities on using MS for proteomic data. Macam gilak je nak offer service tapi nak convert pun tak boleh. Tu bukan nak identify lagi, just nak convert je. hewhewhewmihihihi</div>
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All in all, sekarang kena fokus nak tulis manuscript and get my paper publish. Dari manuscript boleh fokus tesis sama sama. Manuscript+thesis = ill graduating SOOOOOOOOn. </div>
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Thats all</div>
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Adibah</div>
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Salam</div>
w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-35158678593331859872015-09-21T00:55:00.000+08:002015-09-21T00:55:08.379+08:00she WAS ippeuda<div style="text-align: justify;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
It’s not just a show about a girl who grew up unattractive and her
friend who grew up handsome — it’s about the value judgements that
society places on people, and how it’s wrong to assume that someone’s
attractiveness gives or takes away their worth as a person. It’s a
beautiful message.</blockquote>
</div>
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<br /></div>
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Tengah berusaha nak siapkan slide, yang tak tahu nak isi apa, dan harus bersedia untuk kena drill pagi esok. Pasrah.</div>
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Esok, busy nya! hehehe.</div>
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Pagi meeting, lepas meeting kena shoot PJ, malam ada dinner date and nak ke KLIA. Yuhuuu yeay!. Legendary is flying to Queen's land. Bermula esok kena kumpul duit. Nak pergi Umrah dan pergi bumi Cambridge. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Oh, quote atas tu tentang Drama Korea, seperti biasa. Awal awal nak follow drama ni, terus macam, blergh, promote orang lawa, kurus, attractive je yang purfectt, pfft. But, I like the idea for earliest two episodes. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
the value judgements that
society places on people, and how it’s wrong to assume that someone’s
attractiveness gives or takes away their worth as a person.</blockquote>
Tak payah nak low esteem sangat kalau physical attributes jauh nak capai geng geng SNSD. You are who you are inside.<br />
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<br />
Salam<br />
</div>
w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-26504697040926035362015-09-17T00:06:00.001+08:002015-09-17T00:06:21.158+08:00<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Another quick post. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Panjang kisah Haji Kak Long ni. Apapun, dah dapat separa confirmation, doakan semoga bukan lagi false positive</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">So, on my science rambling</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">1. Apa beza Auto-zero dengan Blank eh?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Auto Zero is auto. Blank need sample. Ye ke? Lebih kurang la kan.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">2. My previous check list:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">i) gabungkan FPKM file dengan Annotated file, kemudian screen for keywords, dan buat line graph to look for pattern. -done</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Sekarang tengah screen untuk -ase. yang exact -ase, boleh nampak dengan induction. Tapi yang -ase like bila induction dia punya level turun. Kenapa ye? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Lagi satu, transcription factor dia nampak sangat meningkat. Sesuatu tu. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Kena check untuk proteinase juga. <br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;">ii) Buat GSEA guna KOBAS, dan Analyse B2G -done</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;">iii) </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;">B2G untuk data DEG dan Venn Diagram - Belum</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">iv) Baca Signal Peptide - Belum</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;">v) O</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;">orthoVenn untuk TR80436, kut la ada pairing yang boleh nak buat guna tengok function - belum</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">vi) List of table and figure untuk manuscript. -belum</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Okay, banyak lagi kerja nak buat esok.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Sekarang tidur, Subuh ke Kelana jaya lagi. </span></span>w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-28958233555257430112015-09-16T00:11:00.000+08:002015-09-16T00:11:11.297+08:00#5A quick one for tonight, since I have to wake up eaarrrrly. Kak long got her call, need to report at KJ 6 am tomorrow.<br />
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Plan to bring her kiddos there. Hence, I need my deep sleep for now<br />
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Nighto!w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-7936482854355523732015-09-14T23:08:00.000+08:002015-09-15T00:01:11.534+08:00of Racism<div style="text-align: justify;">
POST NI ADA 28 GAMBAR. JANGAN LOAD KALAU GUNA DATA PLAN. JANGAN KATA AKAK TAK PAYUNG </div>
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I was about to write this on my facebook page, but didnt have much guts to. Hence my blogpost today.</div>
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I was born as Kelantanese, and always a Kelantanese.</div>
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During my primary school years, I have this one chinese friend, named Khor Siew Yee. She has a big burnt-scar on her face and hand, and we, the Malay treat her badly. Some of us didnt want to hold her hand or touch any part of her skin. One because of her hideous scar, another one, simply because she is a Chinese - makan babi, tangan tak bersih. Because of my late mind maturity, I dont have any friends in school, so I do understand the loneliness. I remember I did try to befriend her, but we did not clicked together. Partly may because of my childishness, another part may come from her.</div>
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I went to Islamic school for my secondary. Got no Chinese friend there. Moved to another Islamic school. Later to another Islamic University. (Met a very nice Indian Muslim girl, and we become best friend till today. Made me understand the hardship of other non-Bumi, how bad the meritocracy system and many more. Made me becoming more Malaysia). Hence, I did not interact with any other races, half of my life. While my lil sister, she went to another university and got closed to this one Chinese guy, whom I envied for their friendship.</div>
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I was born as Kelantanese. Which meant almost 99% of my neighbour is also Malay, and we always being said to be very jumud, asobiah and anything matched to close minded ( I beg to differ on this statement. Racism, jumud and many more should not entitled to Kelantan only.) </div>
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When I entered my current Institute, I met with nice and warm Chinese friends. But they are really Kiasu, and harsh and rough. I did think they as, The Kiasu Chinese.</div>
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Why they cant accept other people achievement that is higher then them. Why? Why cant they accept that, there are malays who is brilliant and not lazy and intelligent as they? Why? </div>
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What are we, the Malays? Ingat aku ni goyang goyang kaki masuk unibersiti? Heh. Aku baca buku jugak tau.</div>
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A VERY racist statement. Kan? </div>
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Hahahahaha.</div>
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I have a friend, who always make a racist remarks.</div>
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"Dia okey tak?"</div>
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"Dia Cina weh"</div>
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I wont say that I am not racist, heck with the racist statement I just made. hahahaha. But I think I am quite fine.</div>
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I befriend with the cute Chinese lab mate. Even she still being Kiasu. And talking in Mandarin whenever there are another Chinese in the lab. And talk in a harsh way towards us. I always, "apasal dia cakap dengan aku nak kasar kasar macam tu? Aku cakap elok elok kut"</div>
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I just that we are different, and we have to understand that.</div>
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We Chinese, Malay or Indian, are different albeit the Satu Malaysia we loud.</div>
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As for my Chinese friend, Kiasu is them. That is their culture. Like people keep saying Asian Parents, that is them. It is nothing to do with they have to top the Malay. And also, their belief ( from what I understand) is to work hard, to gain hard. Hence, they need to work really hard, so that they can get what they want. And if they work that hard, why cant they get the best? As in What you give, you get back.</div>
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We the Muslim, we do believe in Tawakkal. We did our best, but we need to leave the rest to ALLAH. Yes, we did our best, but that does not guarantee best outcomeis on queue. We also hold to, rezeki does not means all good things we received. A 20 out of 100 is also rezeki. just 50 cent is also a rezeki. A rezeki, simply said, is something that bring good to you. Rezeki yang Berkat. Holding to 1 million ringgit cash money, but bringing you harm, is not a good Rezeki.</div>
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Is not it?</div>
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See the differences.</div>
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I am not gonna talk about the bumiputera quota or what so ever, or other racist point and those circulating issue in our country now. What I wanna point that, we need to aware of our differences, for us to accept one another.</div>
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When my siblings and I went to Hong Kong, I still remember my sister status (whom stayed there 3 months for her intern-ship)</div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div>
They probably still in flight, flying back home. Thank you for visiting. (not even) 5 days are definitely too short.</div>
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p/s: sedak sero buleh kecek klate nga sep sep kito.</div>
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The desire to talk in your mother tongue, is in everyone. They are mandarin-speaking Chinese, meet with another speak-mandarin Chinese, why cant they talk in Mandarin, when they are together. </div>
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You are Malay, met with another Malay, why you don't want to talk in Malay, a language that you more comfortable with? Then come, what, Malay is our National Language. Why they cant talk in Malay when they are Malaysian? Kita takpe lah tak boleh cakap Bahasa Mandarin, sebab Bahasa Mandarin bukan Bahasa Rasmi kita.</div>
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Seeeee. Tang kita, 'tak apa'. Tang dia orang tak nak faham. Heck. </div>
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Lagi satu masalah bila berada di kelompok Chinese, yang convey dalam Bahasa Mandarin, mula lah muncul fikiran fikiran su'u dzan. "Dia ni mesti dok mengata aku. Ceitt"</div>
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There was once, these two chinese guy, who are doing works on protein purification, suddenly talking about 'Transcriptome', RNA Extraction', and what so ever. In.Front.Of.ME. </div>
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Mestilah I terasa.</div>
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Memang hati dok mengutuk. Dia orang ni sure dok mengumpat aku. Nak kata aku malas, tak buat pape lah tu. Sure dok mengumpat pasal progress dan projek aku ni.</div>
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Do I know what they really said? -No I dont.</div>
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Kalau dia orang nak cakap progress aku slow, layak ke mereka? -Kalau nak dibandingkan dengan progress mereka, memanglah progress aku macam siput. </div>
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So?</div>
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Rasa Intimidated? Nak marah?</div>
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Tahu ke diaorang cakap pasal apa? Tak Kan? Kalau tahu lagi bawa sakit hati ke ketenangan? </div>
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Sakit Hati kan?</div>
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What you dont know wont kill you. Let them pass. Rasa Intimidated sebab kita tak buat sehabis baik yang mungkin. Kalau rasa intimidated macam tu, buat elok elok, biar mereka pun respect pada kita. Action speaks louder.</div>
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Settle kan?</div>
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And the last point is: </div>
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Sesetengah dari mereka bercakap Bahasa Melayu, dengan direct translation dari Bahasa Mandarin. Ada perkataan yang kita rasa dia kasar, tapi kita kena faham, dia translate perkataan tu dari Mandarin. Macam kita yang tergagap gagap cakap dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Kalau borrow and Lend tu, kita hentam 'pinjam' je kan? Memang lah tak lah bunyi kasar kalau ditranslate, tapi maksudnya dah bertukar. Sama lah dengan kawan Chinese kita yang cakap Bahasa Melayu dari Bahasa Mandarin.</div>
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Lagi satu, Bahasa Mandarin ni, dia punya punctuation penting. Jadi bila mereka nak 'tak-kik' kan apa apa, dia punya nada terus lain. Naik tinggi ke, nyaring ke. Bukannya dia cakap kasar dengan kita.</div>
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Kita kena faham, kita dan mereka berbeza. Kita tak boleh nak anggap mereka patut sama dengan kita, jadi bila mereka berbeza, kita gelarkan merekan macam macam.</div>
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We just need to accept that and live happily together.</div>
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Senang kan?</div>
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Tak payah nak racist mengutuk memanjang. Kita kutuk dia takpe, dia balas balik marah.</div>
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Adoilah.</div>
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Thats all. Enjoy your Takuya moments. weeeee~ </div>
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Beautifully said. w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-10525301083345180312015-09-14T01:06:00.000+08:002015-09-14T01:06:57.193+08:00SillokSillok<br />
<br />
If you watched King 2 Hearts before, you have come across this word. Sillok. Or, maybe said as 'Wangja Sillok". It is actually, a tradition started long before, since the Joseon King, which they have to write a 'daily diary' and it is kept as a record. Hence, Wangja Sillok means 'King's Annals'. If you watch Lee Jae Ha and gang before, Sillok is the recording, which he needs to record everynight, and the keyword to access it was "Chun-nya": means "Are you Happy".<br />
<br />
Well, Sillok in the drama hold lots of plot. Albeit, it was one of key point for the whole drama together. As for now, I just use this word to justify my writing. An annal.<br />
<br />
So, whats for today? Nothing much.<br />
<br />
Kak Long is departing for Makkah.<br />
<br />
Mama went for Hajj when I was two years old. Wea went there again when I was in standard six (or five? cant really remember). So I dont have memory of sending anyone in my family for Hajj, the sadness, the happiness, and everything, I dont know. Wea went there again on invitation, so I dont think he went there as long as other people.<br />
<br />
We ( me and sisters in Selangor) went to Kak Long's house for a meet up. In Kelantan, people going to Haji is totally big thing. A whole village share the happiness of someone going to Hajj. Yes, a celebration is in order, you got the invitation from Allah for Hajj. I do remember Mama and Wea went to meet relatives who was going for Hajj, before and after. Like I said, it was something to celebrate.<br />
<br />
Then I came across those words : muassasah, package, KT and Maktab and many more. Apparently I am that ignorant. Hahaha<br />
<br />
I was thinking to talk about oil palm and so on. But I dont think I can do that tonight.<br />
<br />
I dont have anything in my mind for now. Gonna transfer all pdf file from Toshiba, so I can sort everything tomorrow and start with my literature review for my thesis. I really want to end this study as soon as possible.<br />
<br />
Thats all for now.<br />
<br />
See ya tomorrow.<br />
<br />
<br />
Salam<br />
<br />
<br />w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-26830573388267502412015-09-13T01:33:00.000+08:002015-09-13T01:33:53.730+08:00Hari ke 3Day 3.<br />
<br />
I guess, since I wrote a lot on day 1, it was okay to skip Day 2. So, hi there Day 3.<br />
<br />
I had progress meeting with Prof on Friday morning. Presenting my transcriptome data, which I try to analyze it. I know I have something, but I really cant connect all those things yet. It seems like a big out shout of Eureka, but, I just dont know. yet<br />
<br />
Prof liked my progress.<br />
<br />
Later that day, I met with Dr. G. As usual he gave me another aspect to analyse, up till to say what I did before was rubbish. e re<br />
<br />
I really hate Dr. G. <br />
<br />
Because he is so good, makes me really intimidated with him.<br />
<br />
Apa eh yang dia minta buat? Oh, gabungkan FPKM file dengan Annotated file, kemudian screen for keywords, dan buat line graph to look for pattern.<br />
Buat GSEA guna KOBAS, dan Analyse B2G, B2G untuk data DEG dan Venn Diagram, dan Oh, baca tentang Signal Peptide.<br />
<br />
Okay, nanti nak buat list for all of this dan tick one by one yang dah siap.<br />
<br />
Bosannya post. Hahahaha<br />
<br />
Sebenarnya tengah dok mencari file Blast, yang boleh digabungkan dengan FPKM value. Oh mungkin hari bila bila boleh bercerita tentang NGS, jadi boleh tengok sebenarnya aku ni dah cukup faham ke tentang NGS ni.<br />
<br />
Kenapa ye lampi sangat otak ni. Banyak tengok drama Korea maybe.<br />
<br />
Nothing much happened on my weekend. Mungkin weekdays nanti lagi seronot. Hahaha.<br />
<br />
Oh BTW, Toshiba kembali berfungsi yehuuu. Laptop Toshiba ni sebenarnya Laptop pertama, beli untuk MSB la kohnonnya. Sekali lebih kepada tengok drama korea je. Hahahaha. Suddenly, monitor dia rosak, terbahagi tiga, lepas tu bahagian tu jadi 321, out of 123. Pening nak guna. Tapi memang masa run data NGS tak boleh nak guna laptop tu. Sebab data kan besar besar, memang Toshiba tak mampu nak cater. Nasib baik ada yang ikhlas hati menyumbang Laptop DELL, second hand ni. Boleh lah run data data tu semua.<br />
<br />
Cumanya, sebab DELL ni dengan KUbuntu (Ubuntu for Linux yang lebih user friendly). Tak ada Microsoft office. Ingatkan boleh je survive dengan WPS Kingsoft office, sekali WPS datasheet tak boleh plot graf. Sangatlah tak kelakar. Terpaksa guna Libre Office. Nasib baik Libre Office 5 ni dah elok berbanding yang 3 lepas. Kalau tak, memanglah haru biru.<br />
<br />
Jadinya, terpaksalah juga try on Toshiba. Install antivirus, scan, ada 40++ file infected. patutla slow, dan penuh masalah. Sebab bila McAfee expired bertahun lepas, memang tak pernah ambil kisah pasal antivirus. Sekali, memang menternak. Lepas scan, cuba execute yang mana infected, walllaaaaa, dia berjaya dengan eloknya. Boleh la nak guna Office.<br />
<br />
Masalah sekarang, extended Blast file, tak ada yang full. ada yang annotated je. Grrr. Lepas tu, php yang nak guna untuk nak satukan annotated file dengan un-annotated file tak reti nak guna pulak. Tu la, masa KK tunjuk mata tak laju nak grab command dia guna. Sekarang dah terkapai kapai padan muka.<br />
<br />
Oh!<br />
<br />
Teringat lagi satu yang Dr. G suruh buat. Check orthoVenn untuk TR80436, kut la ada pairing yang boleh nak buat guna tengok function.<br />
<br />
Back to cerita gagal tadi, bila file annotation penuh tak ada, tak boleh nak match kan dengan file FPKM. Tak dapat la guna excel.<br />
<br />
So, nak tengok drama Korea dulu malam ni. LOL<br />
<br />
Esok macam nak tengok wayang. LOL<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Bye. Salam.<br />
<br />
<br />
Adibah kaki buang masa yang sedang berusaha untuk menjadi lebih baik. LOL w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-59905240605063203722015-09-11T01:21:00.003+08:002015-09-11T01:21:39.835+08:00Still on Day 1 of Madan ChallengeWell, I guess, either i wont able to write anything tomorrow, or, i wont think about this anymore tomorrow.<br />
<br />
So I just gonna scratch this on tonight.<br />
<br />
People always have their five years goal.<br />
<br />
But I dont.<br />
<br />
Infact, with my 28th birthday approaching, my future still looks bleak on myself.<br />
<br />
Dolu, I know I want to be someone with a stable job at age of 27. By stable job, means stable money income. I still have that feelings when I scroll down on igshop. Seeing those lovely garment, imagining me, with my stable job, buying things with my stable income, wearing those to works. I know I dont dreams much. To be in bubble, I always love to.<br />
<br />
<br />
With graduation approaching, (I didnt write my thesis yet, by the way), i didnt plan for my future yet. I know that I want to settle down in my hometown. It just that, people there did not appreciate science much. Hence the job opportunity there for my field is scarce. I even potraying myself as a housewife, SAHM, part time tailor, and there are points that I think I OK with that.<br />
<br />
And it scare me a lot.<br />
<br />
As I said, I always try to live in my bubble. Outside world is scary.<br />
<br />
But, to be very OK with that, means im okay to leave science behind.<br />
<br />
I know I love science. Even I dont have much passion in this. Maybe not
passion, maybe more on hardwork, or effort. It just I love science,
Science always wonder me. But there are times when I dont think I
belongs in this field. <br />
<br />
There are times you think you had enough with science. Especially when you are very very demotivated with your progress.<br />
<br />
"BS this thing. Whatever. Balik makan lagi bagus"<br />
<br />
something like that, that I will say when I had had enough. LOL<br />
<br />
But, when I realise my feelings, coming back to the lab after a long weekends at home, listening to many many science talk, I can feel the love. It just, Come back Adibah, Come back to science. And I know I love the feelings.<br />
<br />
Science is complicated. It needs appreciation. Its all love.<br />
<br />
I know im not a geek as other people in science, and I dont put much effort to be one yet, but I know, I want to stay in this field.<br />
<br />
Especially, when in one day, you just had so much talk about people. Mengumpat sana sini, or talking rubbish, or watching to much korean drama ( on repeat mode. Oh hi Do Jin. Hi Chep), keeps drooling over those virtual character.<br />
And you know, the moment you talk science with people, it sort of washing away all those wingy wingy wasting time you had before. Its like pulling you again to be more productive, more a human. More of someone better. Just because when we girls gather around, we tend to talk about our works, than about anyone persona. Times goes by discussing science. Less on mengumpat.<br />
<br />
But I wont lie. Bunch of girls, we had our self session. we not that geek.<br />
<br />
I really want to be in Cambridge one day. Tetiba<br />
<br />
I know that is a very big dream. But, I really want to be there even as a post-doc, or visiting a friend. Or to just walk by.<br />
<br />
I wrote this tonight, I hope when my next five years reads this again, it just remind me, a wonderful dreams I once had.<br />
<br />
<br />
Adibah - someone poyo to be geek.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-35454041248629043072015-09-11T00:34:00.003+08:002015-09-11T00:34:57.017+08:00Day 1 of Madan ChallengeIts quite a long time since last. I dont know what I wrote before, but im turning this blog into new things now.<br />
<br />
So, Day 1 of Madan Challenge.<br />
<br />
I hope, the way I use his name as my self-challenge name, did not out of respect to this prominent researcher.<br />
<br />
Well, we have sharing session with him today. Him who I talk so much on my twitter and fb, so im not gonna repeat it again here. Well, I may bore even myself.<br />
<br />
As usual, when I met with someone amazing, i always wonder how he manage his thought. And how his brain works, or how he train his brain to works. I wont lie, I sometimes stare at Dr. L or Dr. G or Prof head when they thinking, and imagining something like a machine in their head, working. And, during those two hours, I did stare at his head, and keep thinking how did his brain work. Definately its only a brain like us, not brainS.<br />
<br />
But, how he manage to produce those kind of thought.<br />
<br />
I really want to ask, what is he thinking while eating, while commuting, while listening to a song.<br />
<br />
I cant ask what he is thinking while scrolling his timeline, didnt i? I dont think he have a social network account, except for Linkedin or Research Gate.<br />
<br />
Well, one of way to train your brain, as I figured out, is to write your thought out loud. Because, by writing it down, you can see how your brain working. Either it is on focus mode, or your drain a lot, or you are in repetitive mode, or you dont think at all.<br />
<br />
I really have big problem in to be in focus, or to straight to the point, in my presentation. Because I cant think straightly at all times, even there is no handsome guy around. And how to be a good researcher when i cant deliver my works well? cant I.<br />
<br />
So this, I challenge myself, to write a post a day.<br />
<br />
Plus, I realize I able to write a lot when I put writer-cap on my head. But I cant write scientific things all time because im not that scientist much and im not that geek. So i just need to write, so I can push my thesis writing faster.<br />
<br />
<br />
Thats all.<br />
<br />
I'm saving other topic for tomorrow.<br />
<br />
And lets see how long can I be discipline with this.<br />
<br />
bye.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
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<br />w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-56192245268001283842015-04-21T17:15:00.000+08:002015-04-21T17:15:02.854+08:00Of Service Provider AND Customer RightsPenat<br />
<br />
Banyak sangat marah orang hari ini. Marah yang tak ada guna sebab, masalah dengan Product Specialist. Mail Product Specialist, tak reply. Jadi mail Customer Service. Soalannya, jika masalah sebab Product Specialist yang TAK BUAT KERJA. Kenapa Customer Service yang kena maki?<br />
<br />
kbyethankxw 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-43840529067853518112015-04-08T02:09:00.001+08:002015-04-08T02:09:17.396+08:002am<h1 class="sCaption" data-reactid=".8.0.1.0.1.0.0.1.0.0.0:0.1.2:1" style="background-color: #fefefe; margin: 0px -8px 0px 0px; max-height: 160px; overflow-y: auto; padding-right: 8px; text-align: justify;" title="Edited">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;">Some search for the one. Some are given the one. Some overlook the one. Who is the one? Perhaps it’s someone who understands the bits of you that make you whole- One; to have someone be ‘one’ with parts of you.</span></span></h1>
<h1 class="sCaption" data-reactid=".8.0.1.0.1.0.0.1.0.0.0:0.1.2:1" style="background-color: #fefefe; margin: 0px -8px 0px 0px; max-height: 160px; overflow-y: auto; padding-right: 8px; text-align: justify;" title="Edited">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></h1>
<h1 class="sCaption" data-reactid=".8.0.1.0.1.0.0.1.0.0.0:0.1.2:1" style="background-color: #fefefe; margin: 0px -8px 0px 0px; max-height: 160px; overflow-y: auto; padding-right: 8px; text-align: justify;" title="Edited">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;">However, is it naive to hope someone will understand parts of you that even you don’t understand yourself? Is that human-capable? Maybe that is a love only One can provide. God. Perhaps two people could love the One and through that love, search within themselves a gift that overlooks the trivial questions of life. Cause only one answer matters, and that is: all love comes from the One, and some pieces of the One manifests itself in some.</span></span></h1>
<h1 class="sCaption" data-reactid=".8.0.1.0.1.0.0.1.0.0.0:0.1.2:1" style="background-color: #fefefe; margin: 0px -8px 0px 0px; max-height: 160px; overflow-y: auto; padding-right: 8px; text-align: justify;" title="Edited">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></h1>
<h1 class="sCaption" data-reactid=".8.0.1.0.1.0.0.1.0.0.0:0.1.2:1" style="background-color: #fefefe; margin: 0px -8px 0px 0px; max-height: 160px; overflow-y: auto; padding-right: 8px; text-align: justify;" title="Edited">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;">And if we’re the lucky some, we find some-one. And that someone will be the sum of all the ones we past along the way in life who made it possible for two people to become their own, human-capable ‘one’. Knowing through it that it will never be perfect, for nothing in this world is. But to realize, all this while, it wasn’t about some-one, rather it was always about the-One.</span></span></h1>
<h1 class="sCaption" data-reactid=".8.0.1.0.1.0.0.1.0.0.0:0.1.2:1" style="background-color: #fefefe; margin: 0px -8px 0px 0px; max-height: 160px; overflow-y: auto; padding-right: 8px; text-align: justify;" title="Edited">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></h1>
<h1 class="sCaption" data-reactid=".8.0.1.0.1.0.0.1.0.0.0:0.1.2:1" style="background-color: #fefefe; margin: 0px -8px 0px 0px; max-height: 160px; overflow-y: auto; padding-right: 8px; text-align: justify;" title="Edited">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;">And that journey to the One is perfectly flawed, and we come out of it, SOMEONE.</span></span></h1>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;">Taken from <a href="https://instagram.com/p/0-apnJt8N2/?taken-by=a.nasaruddin">a.nasaruddin</a></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">"Kenapa orang semua nak orang kaya eh? I tak faham lah. Banyak benda akan fikir. Contoh, kalau dia pewaris mana mana konglomerat, company dia support riba tak, berapa banyak hutang dia pegang. Pelaburan dia part of gambling ke tak, zakat bayar tak, dasar kapitalis tak, dia dah tolong orang orang disekeliling tak...."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: freight-sans-pro, proxima-nova, Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">-hopeless romantic yang tengok drama melayu tetapi terlalu realistik</span></div>
w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-86508144637455161452015-03-16T12:29:00.000+08:002015-03-16T12:29:15.313+08:00Kak diba, you as a Muslim tak boleh sentuh kan between girls and guys?"<br />
Saya angguk.<br />
"Even you are married?"<br />
"If you are married, you are allowed to touch your husband. After married. Not before"<br />
"Kalau bukan husband you?"<br />
"Still tak boleh. Kecuali your closest family member la. Why?" Akhirnya saya tanya.<br />
"I saw one married Muslim guy, hug another married Muslim women. Not his wife. Saya sedih tengok mereka. They should not do that kan? Tak boleh....."<br />
<br />
<br />
.....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Aiyooo this week is choi la. No result at all"<br />
"You go and pray more laaa"<br />
"Ya laa, I'll go to temple in weekend. Ask more from god "<br />
"Ya ya. Do more good. Pray more. You ask Kak Dibah."<br />
Saya dah mula rasa gelabah.<br />
"Right Kak Dibah? We should pray more. Ask more good from god. Kan?<br />
<br />
<br />
Saya hanya diam mengangguk mendengar perbualan dua orang labmates yang beragama Budha ini.<br />
<br />
<br />
.....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Kadang kadang takut rasa bila bagai menjadi model untuk Islam. Banyak mana yang dah saya 'potray' kan keindahan Islam sepenuhnya.<br />
<br />
Adik saya pernah tunjuk chat conversation antara dia dan kawannya yang beragama Buddha.<br />
<br />
Explain this.<br />
*attached gambar gadis melayu, bertudung, berbaju baby-tee singkat yang terselak di bahagian belakang, menampakkan bahagian badan.<br />
<br />
Apa boleh kita cakap.<br />
<br />
"She is a Muslim, but not following the right teaching of Islam"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
...<br />
Kita mungkin tak dapat nak menjadi ikon Islam sepenuhnya. Tapi, cuba, CUBA lah untuk tidal menyusahkan mereka yang lain daripada menerangkan Islam yang sebetulnya.<br />
<br />
.<br />
<br />
And please, try to respect them as much as you want to be respected. Say sorry dan inform mereka jika makanan yang anda hidang, ada daging lembu.<br />
<br />
Nanti mereka juga akan respect makanan yang dihidangkan kepada anda<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-78501483573001951752015-03-11T12:24:00.000+08:002015-03-11T12:24:35.123+08:00Semalam hantar sample untuk RIN number check sebelum shipping ke Korea.<br />
<br />
Hari ni tiba tiba nak try run sample dengan LC-MS.<br />
<br />
<br />
Jadi hari ni tiba tiba jadi sangat penting, menentukan empat tahun pengajian yang lepas.<br />
<br />
Stressnya<br />
<br />
Dah tak ada apa apa backup plan dah.<br />
<br />
Kalau masih gagal, ada kebarangkalian kena tolak masuk Hospital Mental dah<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Huuuuuu T____Tw 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-10085870546846015652015-02-08T23:47:00.000+08:002015-02-09T00:11:55.683+08:00Dear sister....,<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I used to believe in fairy tales...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That the light from Tokyo Tower falls onto me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and warms my heart, as the midnight wind blows...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I believed that something would happen to me if I came to Tokyo.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something good would happen to me...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I really believed that this city, Tokyo,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">would make me happy.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.....</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When the night wind blew, </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a mysterious light would beam down from Tokyo Tower</span></div>
<div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and bathe an insignificant little heart in warmth.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I used to believe in a dream like that.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I came to this town,</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'd find something.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This town will make me happy.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I used to believe in fairy tales like that.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I figured it out a long time ago...</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That dreams and fairy tales</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">only come true in faraway lands.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I continued to live my unchanging</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and ordinary life. And...</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will continue to do the same in the future...</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">..........</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He found me.</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been 3 years since I moved</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">out here and I got used to things.</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I began to feel that whether I existed or not,</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the world wouldn't be affected at all.</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was at that time, when he found me.</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He didn't choose anyone else.</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He chose me.</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...........................</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Matsui Yukiko x Takagi Masashi</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tokyo Cinderella Story</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imouto yo</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1994</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
</div>
w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-46021828915533135982014-11-24T14:57:00.003+08:002014-11-24T15:07:45.713+08:00King Kong banging on chest : Tong Kosong<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Yeah, you could be the greatest</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You can be the best</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You can be the king kong banging on your chest</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You could beat the world</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You could beat the war</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><i>You could talk to God, go banging on his door</i></span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You can throw your hands up</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You can beat the clock</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You can move a mountain</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You can break rocks</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You can be a master</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Don't wait for luck</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<i></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Standing in the hall of fame</span></i></i></div>
<i>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">And the world's gonna know your name</span></i></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Cause you burn with the brightest flame</span></i></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">And the world's gonna know your name</span></i></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame</span></i></div>
</span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You could go the distance</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You could run the mile</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You could walk straight through hell with a smile</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You could be the hero</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You could get the gold</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Breaking all the records they thought could never be broke</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Do it for your people</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Do it for your pride</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Never gonna know if you never even try</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Do it for your country</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Do it for your name</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Cause there's gonna be a day</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">When you're...</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<i></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Standing in the hall of fame</span></i></i></div>
<i>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">And the world's gonna know your name</span></i></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Cause you burn with the brightest flame</span></i></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">And the world's gonna know your name</span></i></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame</span></i></div>
</span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be a champion</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be a champion</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be a champion</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be a champion</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">On the walls of the hall of fame</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be students</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be teachers</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be politicians</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be preachers</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be believers</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be leaders</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be astronauts</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be champions</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be true seekers</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be students</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be teachers</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be politicians</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be preachers</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be believers</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be leaders</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be astronauts</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Be champions</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Standing in the hall of fame</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">And the world's gonna know your name</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Cause you burn with the brightest flame</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">And the world's gonna know your name</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><br /></span></div>
<i></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">You can be a master</span></i></i></div>
<i>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Don't wait for luck</span></i></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself</span></i></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d4d4d; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 28.0499992370605px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 28.0499992370605px;">Standing in the hall of fame</span></i></div>
</span></i>w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-72788874398757015882014-10-21T03:24:00.002+08:002014-10-21T16:08:03.939+08:00of Reply 2003It was 11 eleven years ago since I started my life journey outside Kelantan.<br />
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I am never a diligent student. I don't really study at home. It just that I have a nice working brain which store anything that I focused on. When my other siblings studied hard for big exam such like PMR, I don't really remember what I did, or how many practice books I had (My sister had stacks of that. Me? one or two book maybe). I even watched TV on exam night, but skipped my house chore duty (saying I wanna study, of course).<br />
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At those time, the only how I survived was by focusing in class. This tiny brain of mine did a good job in memorizing anything if only i put my focus in class. I still remember Form 3's Geography and History. I still remember how to predict world climate. Connection of Desert, Mediterranean climates. BUT, I really bad at memorizing. Memorizing for me is something that subconsciously done. If I understand it well, it will be stored. How can I remember one whole sentence perfectly with 'the, an, if, or, a' and so on. It just something that I totally cant.and wont.and lazily cant.<br />
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It is good to get teachers who tell 'story'. Point-based teacher REALLY give me hard time. Up till now. I detest teacher that teaching on exam based, such "you have to memorize this and that, even you don't understand what it is. Just put it in somewhere in your brain and make sure you know to find it where in the exam hall" type. I had hard time because my brain just don't work well that way. And I am not someone who push self limit.<br />
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Still I don't know how could i stuck in Bio-based field now.<br />
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Anyhow, exam based, or knowledge based, its actually up on the student how they going to treasure anything they got, anggerae? Teachers help giving student points. Its up to student to quest for more knowledge. They are there for any question. But still student need to raise hand and ask. Well, that is something that I belatedly realize.<br />
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Enough with that.<br />
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With that little effort, I somehow was confident enough to know that I scored my exam well.<br />
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9A PMR? ditto! (flips tudung)<br />
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How? I dont know.<br />
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But everything given was actually a test.<br />
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9A? so I got so many offers. Science based, economy based, or art based? Hey! i got excellent result, why should I stuck in art based. Its science based hype anyway.<br />
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I transferred to another school, in town. Spent four days there. All I did was sleeping whole day. I just woke up during recess time and blankly starring at abang abang Mydin angkut barang dari lori masuk store, 10 minutes before balik.<br />
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It was on thursday night. I checked my SBP application online, just to realized I was offered a place in Klang Top-school. The joy came for only one hour. I was glad to get that. But I never want one. All other siblings got offer in country top schools. Me, I never get one. The achievement was to get an offer, not to accept.<br />
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But hey ho.<br />
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Mom halfway pleaded me to accept the offer.<br />
<br />
And asked me to perform istikharah. Done once, the answer was negative. Was asked to do second time. and third so I can have three replicates.<br />
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On my last Istikharah, I still remember the <i>vision</i> I had. I dont understand what was it, till later that week.<br />
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I cried (yup, cried) times, since I really don't want to go. (Drama queeeeen) Lastly, on Sunday, (Online result came out on thursday night) I decided that if offer letter came in, I will accept the offer. If not, than that was it.<br />
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Came back from school in puffy eyes, since slept whole day through school. The letter arrived. Registration was next day on Monday.<br />
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Went out to buy new sets of school uniform since one that I had was different.<br />
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Traveled to Kuala Lumpur by train that night. Arrived Kajang on the next morning. Later went to Klang.<br />
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It was so fast and different.<br />
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Everything. Before, I dont tug my bed in the morning. I woke up just in time to get ready and arrived before school bell rung. Iron just in front of my room door. I watched TV all times. I dont study at night, I watched TV. Then, there I was. I.dont.know.how.<br />
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I struggled whole year just to adapt with that new rules.<br />
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Still, woke up late, went to school late, wore uniform full with crinkles since I don't have iron on my own, and i was too lazy to went to next building just to iron. (gap between my dorm and next building is a baksetball court) Still slept all day through class. Morning class, sleep. Prep class, sleep. 11 o clock at night, lamp off then I sleep. Still I was the last person woke up and sleepy whole day.<br />
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Everyone else was soo diligent. And there I, with 3/100 for my add math paper.<br />
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I thought I know everything about city. Well, I went to Kuala Lumpur at least once a year before. I went to ice skating since I was 10. But, still I was a girl from small town in Kelantan.<br />
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I got all hype with KFC. Round eyes when saw friends went to KFC during Friday outing. What?? KFC was annual meal for me. (not really. maybe once in three months?)<br />
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Everyone there used Milk teddy. What was that? MILK TEDDY? Woaaaaaaaah. The feeling was like Hermes at that time (exaggeration ooo yeah) <br />
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I only went to The Store and Mydin in the Klang city, with people from 'outside'. Never know about Mid Valley. Is Mid Valley also a town?<br />
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Cikai handphone was something luxury, but classmate used latest model of Nokia. (mind me, My doctor-sister only used Nokia 3310 at that time). Woah.<br />
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Thus, watching Haitai in this Reply 1994, just remind me to my life during 2003.<br />
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I thought I was all hype, but just to realize I was halfway country bumpkin.<br />
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Hahahaha<br />
<br />
That was in social life.<br />
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In study part, I never thought friends next to me can be Top 25 student for SPM. I was from small school before. I dont aim to be THE best, just to do best. I never thought I may have chances to study next to someone who was later offer place in Ivy League. I never get out from my comfort bubble. If I was to realize the situation earlier, I may force myself to grab all chances I can get.<br />
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I shoot at the airplane, later I touch down on merely just kite.<br />
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At sixteen. I really been in dreams.<br />
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Not sweet, not horrible. Just static.<br />
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If Reply 1994 was life during 20's. I reminiscing my teenage life.<br />
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The feeling of coming from town to big city, learning that friends was your only family now.<br />
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Some may thought I felt embarrassed while all telling this, but no. All those story just remind me of who I was. That was me, and I really want to stay that way. Naive is the new hipster.<br />
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I don't want to be a total city girl. I love my small town better. I still think Mid Valley is somewhere outside Malaysia, even now I stay thirty minutes drive from there.<br />
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Looking back, I may want to change something in the past. partly in my study life. But hey Ho. This is my life, not a plot in Nine drama. Nothing that can be changed. Just to do better in future.<br />
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Again, If I were to make a different decision now, I think I again will decline the offer.. I dont know what will happen If I were to stay in Maahad, for it never happened. But, after staying in those fast pace, high challenge and pressure life for two years, I know that just not for me. Or I to realized it earlier, so I can deal with it better.<br />
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But past is past, here is present. Deal with it the way it should be. The decision in past cannot be changed, but what happen in future can still be manipulate. Do better, perform better, and still have a nice future.<br />
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<br />
Thats all.<br />
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By the way, Chilbongie indeed the most handsome.<br />
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Oh, the dream? What I saw was guys, bersilat, with Bunga mangar. And everything woods. It was part of Opening Ceremony in my Minggu Suai Kenal.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Heh.<br />
<br />
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I hope this is not all crap.w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018319665126300501.post-29251428446436811392014-09-22T18:21:00.000+08:002014-09-23T00:35:08.237+08:0027 dresses<div style="text-align: justify;">
This blogpost is just to kill my time while waiting for my benchmate's supervisor done with their consultation next to my desk. Tiba tiba rasa gembira ada phone call, jadi boleh melarikan diri dari aura benchmate's sv yang mula tone lain tu. ehem ehem</div>
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So, its 22 Sept again.</div>
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Which is my birthday.</div>
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That I sometimes forgot. Yes, forgotten by me, myself. <span style="font-size: x-small;">Can I be any way weirder than this?</span></div>
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I.....</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
am someone who never think birthday celebration should be something big. To be forgotten by someone, about your birthday wishes is a big thing. In fact, I even feel awkward when someone wish me 'Happy Birthday' straight on my face. What else can I reply except 'thank you' or smiling happily and a halfway shout of THANK YOUUUU back or smiling giddily with (what else?) thank youuuuuuu. I dont know. Seriously I dont.</div>
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<br /></div>
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But then, again, this is my 27th Birthday. As my sister texted me this morning, Nobody knows whether this will be that I am 27 years old or young since nobody knows how many times I have left on this world. Well, some may think that is a creepy wishes. But for me, that is the most realistic wishes I got. Combining many things in one : A wish, a prayer and importantly, a reminder. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I dont really care how old I am, as i strongly uphold that your maturity level is what define you. And maturity is something that is fluctuate based on your current situation. One can be at lab, solving one technical problems, by combining lots of fact and experience and then come out with a '<i>walla</i>' solution which invite people's admiring eyes on him/her, then, s/he felt stress with that, go to arcade, play any arcade games. People may see him/her as childish, but Hey! s/he have their own way to channel the maturity. There are peoples in their midlife, solving problems like teenagers. Maturity walks more on solving problems. Hence, no matter how old you are, as long as you can solve your problems up to your age par, you are matured. Child-like is nothing in common with child-ish. Hecka, I am actually trying to justify my act playing in arcade game, together with three years old cheeky Khadijah. Hahahaha</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">I know my writing skills does not improve much since last time, but well, Grammar nazi if you are here, hold your breath and click the 'x' sign up on the right corner because more grammatical errors are on the way. </span> </div>
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Ok done. Back. </div>
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*My labmates cum my housemate just called, to invite me to my birthday celebration since their plan is kantoi. till then I will continue this post later. </div>
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<br />
continued.<br />
<br />
I never have life plan. A neat one. I never have a real life target (the science student in me try to type milestone, but I leave target for it to be less jargon-ic) one that i am dying to achieve. I have many dreams, which noone I think I try so hard to make it happened. Heck, I even dream to have clean,neat,shiny car. But I sent my car to car wash, once a month maybe?<br />
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But, at 27, it different. This age brings so many means to me.<br />
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The dream I had was,<br />
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at 27, I lead a stable life.<br />
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Nice job. A stable job.<br />
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One that I can apply for loan or credit card with my salary.<span style="font-size: x-small;"> (Not that I plan to add loans on my already a burden life, but credit card is a symbol that you have a stable salary per month. I guess that how I see it is)</span><br />
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One that I can buy property or investment with my salary.<br />
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One that I can have other life commitment .<br />
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Yet I achieve none.<br />
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I dont even get good result for first milestone of my research.<br />
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So, turning 27 today, with no life achievement, I felt too many negative aura coming in. So down. So low.<br />
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At 27, I have a car which I only to pay half, and a life insurance with medical card that allowed me to stay at KPJ for a week because of dengue.<br />
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At 27, the success level that I achieve is same with fresh graduates (UKM's student grads at 22)<br />
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And now I feel old with my maturity stoop low.<br />
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I really need to work hard on my life.<br />
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I may have my plan, but what will happen is following Allah's plan.<br />
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So, Happy Birthday to me.<br />
<br />
<br />
Labmates tried to prank me, so they can treat me for birthday dinner. Well, I can guess it the moment benchmate's phone rung three times. Hahah. Its hard to put a poker face sometimes. The thing is that, one of my labmates already announce in our whatsapp group that today was my birthday, and none of them wish me anything. Knowing how nice they are, and how they ignoring things they already know, I can smell the secret plan (or supposedly to be secret).<br />
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At 27, I dont think that peoples singing Happy Birthday to you out loud with cakes is something sweet.<br />
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Tonight, as we gathered, having steamboat and grill, making jokes to one another, having a nice conversation, reminding that I am actually on my way to achieve my dreamS, is totally a perfect birthday night I have. I may not someone I wish to be YET, but work harder, the time may come sooner that I thought.<br />
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Thats all.<br />
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<br /></div>
w 8 zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11640225779979828012noreply@blogger.com0